Saturday, April 16, 2005

Friday, April 15, 2005

msn screenname change

It used to be "(*) (C) ScrupulousBlue (C) (*)"

poetry plug

Here's a good poem written by one of my new, good friends in Deaf theatre!

Best Friends

I grew up receiving scars.
Having scars I wouldn't mind
which is good for me.
Also for other people with
their own scars
makes us stronger.
But losing you is not a scar.
It is murder, a whole big wound.
A part of me dies
because that part of me is you.
You made me,
I made you,
as we grew.
We made eachother.
Such a tremdous love I have for you,
you wouldn't believe your eyes.
Losing you is far worse than anything
in this whole universe.
A half of me is bleeding
because you walked away.

Copyright © 2005 Veronica Kozlowski

AIM Tool

Nice automatic fader tool for AIM! If you use this, I recommend that you should always use Direct Connect with the people you chat with! Get it HERE!!

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

best highlight of my life!

Last night, after Deaf play rehearsal, my mom paged and asked me to get some cake mixes and a dozen eggs. So I went to get them: 6 boxes of cake mix and a carton of one dozen eggs. Obviously, my hands were full, but was able to talk to mom on the SidekickII. Then I walked to the front of the store to the area that's open space right before you go into the registers. I walked past a stand-alone poster sign and a lady was stading there, reading it. It caught my eye and I walked up to it. The lady left, and I stood there alone looking at pictures of a baby in a hospital. I looked at all of the pictures, catching "we are learning sign language" and a picture of the baby boy wearing hearing aids. I thought to myself that it's a cute baby boy. I was still talking to mom on the SidekickII when I scanned up from the picture of the boy to the picture of his parents. *GASP!* I paged my mom with "HOLY SHIT!", tried to switch to the camera mode and accidentally shut down my SidekickII. Shit, shit, shit!! I fumbled around with my hands full of grocery, set them all down on the floor, then tried to get my pager started up again. Frustrated, I grabbed all the cake mixes and eggs, and set them on an unused register. I walked back and made sure my SidekickII started up. My mom paged me back, but I ignored her, taking 3 pictures of the stand. Here are the pictures: the front side; the back side; and a closer shot of the bottom right corner of the back side. I was in TOTAL shock, because I remember 10 years ago, I used to work at this awful grocery store chain. I worked at that shitty, discriminating store, "Smitty's", which merged with Smith's, and then it merged with Fry's Food Marketplace. There I am standing in shock at Fry's. I know the guy! It hit me, I remember telling him, "Listen asshole! For the shit you give me, I hope to God you get a Deaf son and then you'll feel the guilt and the pain you put me through!" I don't know why I said that, but knew he was going to have a deaf kid and warned him that he'll feel bad about treating me this way. The guy has twin sisters, one is such a bitch and the other is sweet, but still bitchy. Those three were part of making my life Hell while working at Smitty's. I looked closer to make sure it is the SAME guy I am thinking of. Yup, I saw his full name. Same guy, same asshole. But he better be a nicer guy than he was before! You might ask, "Why was that poster put up???" Well, I found out from parts of the poster, it is a plead for money to donate to the March of Dimes organization. Ahh, the dude's pimping his Deaf son! Anyway, it's a local Fry's Marketplace store. I know I am bound to bump into that asshole sooner or later. I simply don't know what I am going to do or say to him when I do.

Wow! The dude got OWNED!

Eat All You Can @ Sushi Q

All for $19.95!

Sushi @ Ichi Bowl

Drivin' to Az

During Spring Break, my mom and I went driving to Utah and back. We picked up my things from storage up in Provo, Utah. Now, I am DONE with Eeewtah for GOOD!!!

New Dream Car

My new economical dream car is the Scion xB.

Eatin' @ Del Taco

Saturday, March 19, 2005

No-Bake Cookies

My parents and I went to visit my brother's family. His wife made some No-Bake Cookies for a family picnic on her side of the family. She shared some extra cookies with us. I was laying down on the love seat, drawing pictures with my niece and nephew. My sister-in-law put one of the No-Bake Cookies on my hand and the cookie felt soft. Her kids were standing next to me when I showed to them, "Poo-poo? Poo-poo?" No one else heard me say that except for the 2 kids. The oldest, Braedi, started saying in a silly voice, tapping on my sister-in-law's leg, and pointing at the cookie in my hand, "Poo-poo! Poo-poo!" Mom got puzzled and wondered where Braedi got the idea, then I started snickering. She gave me a dirty look, and I replied with a laugh, "I just couldn't resist!! I'm sorry!"

I know I should have taken a picture of the cookie, too! ;)

Friday, March 18, 2005

Orange Blossoms

They're blooming right now and the air smells great whenever it is cool, humid or after it rains.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Cheese!

Now I know where the Cache Valley cheese comes from! I bought a bag of jalapeño "squeaky" cheese. Yum!

Monday, March 14, 2005

Spring Break?

I am supposed to be on Spring Break, but I am spending the whole week reading up on my assignments.. Ugh! And I'm picking up my storage contents from Utah tomorrow and drive back to Arizona.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

plug

ScriptLance.com - freelance programming, web designers, job listings and more:

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Red? Yellow?? Or Blue???

Interesting that Thailand has a color code for dressing up: "Color of Monday is Yellow. Color of Tuesday is Pink. Color of Wednesday is Green. Color of Thursday is Orange. Color of Friday is Blue. Color of Saturday is Purple. Color of Sunday is Red."

Monday, March 07, 2005

T-Mobile Network Outtage

Well, guess what? T-mobile had a MAJOR network outtage sometime yesterday, March 6, 2005. If your t-mobile is not working yesterday and today? No? Then, do this: Go to your Desktop Interface and sign on with your account. Try to access the Desktop Interface on that website. Can you access it? No?? Then call T-Mobile at 1-800-937-8997. Tell them the problems you have with your sidekick and that you CANNOT get on the desktop interface on my.t-mobile.com, check and make sure you cannot access the webpage, then call t-mobile if you cant sign on) Do the proper steps before you call them. Or else, you'd look like a stupid fool if the site ACTUALLY works for you and you're "calling and complaining for nothing". They will check and see which areas they KNOW their service are not working. If you are listed under the area the service is not working, they will either give you additional number of new text messages to use or give you 5 dollars off if you use the unlimited data plan.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

flowers for mom

I went to Trader Joe's and found some good daffodils (sp?) for mom. She adores and loves yellow flowers, especially yellow roses! Go support your local Trader Joe's or farmer's market!

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

The New Den

My sister is going to foot the bill to repair the room her dog built outside.





Saturday, February 12, 2005

Cochlear Implants Survey

Someone sent me a survey.. I am thinking about filling one out because it is like my 5th time someone asled me to fill one out. This way, I will be able to simply point the surveying person to my blog with all my answers.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

What's in a name?

My recent MSN Messenger screennames I have used: The One with Chai (C) Keeping myself to myself Now using: (||) sick monkey slayer (C)

Monday, February 07, 2005

paper dreams - die

     die
with red fluid dripping
my hands cold and lay twitching
staring at the blur of the traffic
white spots, blinding
my eyes close


- philip © 2005

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Sidekick II Rocks!

I can use the Blogger by email and make instant posts with my Sidekick II! If I could figure out uploading the images from this built-in camera!!

What's in a name?

I got a notice from Google Alerts that they found my screenname listed on this page: Pictures Of Deaf Babies. But I don't see it.. I guess they cycle links on that page often, so my screenname is somewhere else on that site! Anyhow, I think it is an interesting site!

Skool Notes

Oh, wow!! I really can't breathe for several weeks, and it is getting harder and harder to breathe everytime I go to school. Because I am SO frustrated with my English class! It is pissing me off! I have never seen a syllabus 16 pages long IN a community college course! For my Eng101 class, I only had to do 5 papers. I don't know if I understood the Eng102 course description right, but the interpreter said there's 35 essays in this class!! What?!? I'd understand if it was an university English class, but this is way too much for me to handle. Ugh. It is demoralizing when I found out one of my Deaf friends was taking the SAME class and using the SAME book, at another community college in Mesa. He told me he is thrilled he is only doing 5 essays, and here I am, thinking how screwed I am with 35. I honestly can't grasp the lessons and explainations in class. English was supposed to be my favorite subject, and this time, it is not. Also, I am frustrated with the college library's computer lab. Each and every one of their computer has a DAMN dirty mouse. I can't even roll the cursor smoothly, so it became frustrating for me to do research, trying to focus my time and energy making sure to keep the damn mouse point popping into the right place!! Discouraging!! I sure don't want to work on my school papers on these computers with dirty mice. I wish they'd replace them with optical mice. I don't start my critical reading class until this Tuesday. *sigh* If English is this hard, I am afraid to find out how hard Critical Reading course would be like. I guess the only class I actually enjoyed is my math class. The teacher is awesome and has an accent. My interpreter thinks he is from Africa somewhere. One of the students asked the teacher where he is from, he replied, "I am from the country called Earth." I knew he was teasing but the same time, made me wonder what happened to him and the country he came from. Oh, well.. I don't want to pry. The neat thing about this math class is that we do our homework IN class!! I enjoy this very much because that's the best way I can learn. If only my English course would do homework in class.. *sigh* I am going to discuss what to do with my English class with my advisor today. I do not want to mess up my grades and my financial aid chances! This better work! Yesterday, I finally got my Sidekick 2!!! My parents bought it for Christmas and it was a late present. I didn't want my parents to get me anything while I was in Utah during December. Less things to worry about packing and moving to Arizona! Whew!! Anyway, the Sidekick 2 comes with a built-in camera. I'll be taking pics and posting them to a photoblog. Hope you'll enjoy it! I hope that I can keep a weblog more and more. Because of my problems with trying to write my assignments and feeling my brain lock-up, I feel that trying to write in this blog would help me try to loosen up my brain so it'll get easier to sponge up the overload of information during English class. Wish me luck.. :(

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Deep thoughts

I am thinking about re-doing my layout.. Maybe go with a touch of anime. Trying to figure out the places to put text and pick the colors.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Back to Skool!

Yeah, yeah.. I know it's spelled S-C-H-O-O-L! But, I'm back to school today for the first time in years. I am taking English, Math, and Critical Reading. I felt a little overwhelmed with the classes because it's been a while since I had used my brain's rusty gears. I hope and pray I get into gear, fast and smoothly! I think I will have the most trouble with Critical Reading class. It's great catching up with old friends here in Arizona and Phoenix College!! I have some things going on this week. I am supposed to create and design a family reunion webpage. It'll be some work, but I think it'll be cool. I need to find a good webhost and a cheap domain name. I just signed up for Blockbuster's online DVD rental. I have been watching a lot of anime. I think it'll be a good break for me to do between homework and classes. Also, I hope I can keep my blog updated more often than before because I have access to the computers now, than when I was in Utah. Yay me!

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Park plug

When I was little in 5th or 6th grade and before the roller coasters were up, I had a birthday party at Castles N' Coaster.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Quiz plug

Whoo-hoo!! I'm Bendah!
you are bender
You are Bender Bending Rodriquez

What Futurama Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Quiz plug

Random
You are a Random cat! Also known as an alley cat
or a mutt. You aren't given to high-falutin'
ways, but you're accessible and popular.
People love you for who you are, not what you
are.

What breed of cat are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Updated Christmas Wish List

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Movie plugs

Alright!!!! I finally found something worthwhile to browse about Japanese movies! Check Midnight Eye - The latest and best in Japanese cinema - interviews, features, film reviews, book reviews, calendar of events and DVD releases, links and more...

Monday, November 29, 2004

The Doctrine of Parking

My best friend wrote this article: The Doctrine of Parking from Evan VanOrman November 21, 2004 Dear Editor, Interested in free parking anyone? Well... it's easy! Just stroll on over to the LDS Institute of Religion and sign up for an institute class and don't forget to obtain your Institute Parking Pass! This handy pass will allow you to park with all those other "Molly Mormons" and "Peter Priesthoods" in their elitist lot. UVSC paid to build an underground tunnel just for these people, so they can run over to their spiritual superiority classes without bringing traffic to a standstill. But wait! You can also just walk across the street and head straight over to UVSC! That's right. Just because you signed up for a daytime class at the Institute of Religion, you won't have to be a chump and pay $60 for parking. What a great deal! Don't mind those pesky cars in the roadway, if they don't stop it'll be blood on their hands. You're in a hurry for crying out loud! What's that? You don't want to take any more classes? Ah come on! This isn't BYU! According to lds.org/institutes , "A student can do as much reading and research of gospel topics as he or she wishes and has time for... The Institute offers grading / credit options to fit the circumstance of each student." These classes aren't hard. Not LDS? No problemo! There is nothing wrong with taking a little afternoon nap in Brother Superrighteous's class. Just be sure to get on the roll 75% of the time - otherwise your free parking is history. Besides, Members LOVE having "Non-Members" in class! (Just keep your mouth shut and nod... yes... that's it... you'll do great.) I can't imagine a better use of the tithes of the Lord's church than having the Institute providing parking in exchange for attendance. I mean, get real! Who would, in their right mind, wish to attend religion classes unless there's some sort of reward? Sign up today and take advantage of a host of other benefits to attending Institute such as getting your picture taken for the "Meat Market Menu" and joining in for a Munch & "Mingle." Who knows, maybe you'll meet your eternal companion! -Evan VanOrman Wow!! I am impressed with this article and I believe he made a lot of valid points!

Thursday, November 18, 2004

In a daze...

Man!! I wish I could just move to Arizona right now and get it over with. I am done with my ASL class last Tuesday. Nothing else to do until mid-December. I am looking forward to living in Arizona again. Things to do and places to go: IKEA, open captioned films showing 3 weeks at a time, Trader Joe's, Tokyo Express, Streets of New York, Uno's Pizzeria, spending quality time with my nephews and niece. Did I tell you my step-grandmother had a Deaf brother, and she bought all the kids a videotape of "Signing Time: An American Sign Language (ASL) Video for Children" just so they could talk to me!?!?! Wow!! I love my family! I am working on making my own chai tea powder and see if it is any good. If it is, then I will save more money making my own! I was shopping the other day, looking up the prices for making my own chai drink. I nearly shit my pants when I saw the price tag for ground cardamom: $13.49 for 1.75 oz of that $$$ spice! *sigh!* I hope it taste good or better than the ready-made one. I am only experimenting to see which taste better and go with the superior choice. In the past 1 1/2 weeks, I have watched about over 27 DVDs!!! I got this $9.99 a month deal from Hollywood Video. Unfortunately, I can't check out the new released movies, just the one already there for quite some time. I knew it was getting too much, so I made myself commit to getting my kitchen cleaned and organized before I rent another DVD again! It worked! My apartment is starting to feel like a home, my own place! I still have some storage boxes in the other room, but will worry about them later this week. Anyway, I feel great about having a working kitchen! The front room is still a mess from my marble magnets madness. It's a fun mess though! Ohhh, Christmas is coming soon!! It's time to make my Christmas Wishlist 2004! I am going to go with less things to wish for this time. Let me see... link here.. I think I am going to buy myself a DVD player soon, because I am wearing out my iMac's DVD player with all those movies! It overheated several times! Anyway, I named my purple iMac, 'Kirby'. I have to thank ArtizLife a MILLION times for sending me her iMac!! I better make sure I make her a Christmas present and other things, send them off ASAP! Another thing.. I need to get working on my site!! I have been neglecting 3 of my webpages for several months. I need to whip up a layout when I have the chance. I am going shopping for chai stuff now! ;)

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Hectic..

Wow! It's been a crazy month! I noticed the last time I updated my blog was in October 19. It makes sense now that I haven't been able to get online much, thanks to one of my roommates who won't pay his share of the internet bill. Last August, this one roommate and I agreed that I can use his Blockbuster Membership to replace his part of the internet bill. Well, he has been grouchy and cranky often that I didn't get my money's worth of renting the movies. His replies were: "Not now, I am not in the mood."; "No, my girlfriend don't like the movies you rent."; "Later, I am watching my movies right now."; and "I am pissed off at you, so I am not letting you check any movies out." And, get this.. I was gone for the whole month of August in Arizona and still paid my share of the internet. I didn't think it was right I had to pay when I am not there to use it, but I paid. During my stay in Arizona, I decided what to do with my life and how to run things. I decided that if my roommates can't pay their part of the deal, I am going to pay what I can and let it disconnect. Later, in the end of September, the same roommate and I talked again about the internet bill. He agreed to pay for 2 months share of the internet because he let his girlfriend use our wireless internet connection for September to October. She only lives the next door, upstairs. So, October came and went. The bill still wasn't paid for. I had another discussion with him again and asked if he was going to pay. He said he will give me burned copies of Macintosh software in exchange to "pay" his part of the internet bill. I told him I prefer money and need to pay it off ASAP. He didn't pay. The very next morning, the internet got cut and all Hell broke loose. He and I fought on AIM, accused me of all sorts of things like "breaking his truck door" and singling me out for his own problems. Also, I said a few things that pissed him off. I noticed when things are said that are true, the guilty party gets angry and pissed off. After our argument online, his girlfriend sent me an IM and asked me not to come home. My roommate sent me several threatening IMs, saying he was going to befriend my ex-wife's husband and bring him over to our apartment and beat me up. She begged me to stay somewhere else so my roommate will chill out. I told her I may have to go to the police station or hospital because those are the only 24-hour places I know I can stay at. I even tried calling my sister. My roommate's girlfriend called the police on me, thinking I was going to kill myself. Hell, no! The visit in Arizona helped me out a lot. I asked her why she called the police when it will make it worse for everyone. She said it was for my safety, and begged me to not tell them about my problem with her boyfriend. Too late, the police was called and they need answers from me. Was I going to lie? No. While the officer tried to talk to me, another friend sent me an IM, warning me that the roommate's girlfriend has been talking behind my back for about a month. *sigh!* The officer questioned me why I am "suicidal". I told him I am not suicidal, I was having problems with one of my roommates and I am just trying to find a place to stay for the night. I made the mistake of telling him my brother-in-law is an officer in the city and I am trying to get a hold of my sister. This officer called the dispatch and the office heard something like: "One of your officers' brother-in-law is suicidal and he needs to be picked up!" Oh, no!! I told the officer I am not suicidal and, already, I knew my brother-in-law is embarrassed! If that girlfriend NEVER called the police, it would have never become worse! My brother-in-law got off work, came over to pick me up and asked me upfront, wanting to know the situation and explain everything. He asked me to get online and IM to my roommate and his girlfriend to meet at the apartment. He called the next police jurisdiction and asked them to send an on-duty police officer to be present. They wouldn't come right away because "an interpreter is not with us", and I told my brother-in-law that I will ask one of our neighbors to interpret for him. Finally, the roommate and his girlfriend showed up. I could tell the girlfriend didn't like that we asked one of the neighbors to interpret. I know that as long as there is reasonable accommodations, it is perfectly fine to have a neighbor interpret a dispute. It's either use that interpreter or do it by paper and pen. No one was getting arrested, so there was no real need for a "certified" interpreter. I appreciated that my brother won't take my side or their side, just keeping it a neutral ground and trying to make things work between me and my roommate. We agreed that we are not to tell anyone anything about what is going on, to leave each other alone and not to touch each others' property. When all is said and done, my brother-in-law had a "brother-to-brother" talk with me. He made sure that I understood I have every right to stay where I am living. I went to the interpreter's apartment and asked for the landlord's phone number. I thanked her for interpreting the situation and apologized for the Utah Deaf people's behavior. The next day, the same roommate gave me such attitude and bullying, writing on the eraser board, saying that he is forcing me out of the apartment and wants me to move out of state. One of my friends and my sister saw the messages. Both think he is being an immature asshole. This roommate even accused me of "ruining the Spirit". I know for a fact that whoever harbors ill-feelings and bullying towards another is the instigator of ruining the Spirit. In your face, pal! I feel so sorry for this roommate because he don't know how to handle his temper, like I don't know how to handle my depression. However, I am the only one who is going to therapy and getting better. I finally moved out to the other apartment, with the landlord's permission, to keep the peace. It's been so nice I am living alone for a while. I am sure you already read my entry about my birthday. Well.. About 2 days after my birthday, my pumpkin got destroyed. No one would confess to ruining my birthday present. I just picked it up and tossed it into the bushes and trees by the apartment to fertilize them. This happened like on October 18 or 19. Then, two days ago, I come home from hanging out at my best friend's house and see the SAME pumpkin sitting on the porch of my new apartment! It's funny and disgusting. There's black rot inside the pumpkin. I disposed of it, thinking this is so immature and hilarious of my ex-roommates to do this. Looking back in the past year, it's been a rough one. I realized that, even though I liked him and admired him, this troublesome roommate has caused me to have a deeper depression in the long term. I was diagnosed with double depression, so I am always depressed, but with other people's depressions or problems layered on my first depression. And, to top it off, I am suicidal, too. You can imagine how that can really mess me up. I ended up in the hospital 3 times in the past summer. His girlfriend was in the hospital a few times, too, for the SAME reason. Both of us weren't that suicidal until this roommate came into our lives. I know he is a good person, but he doesn't realize or mean to have that effect on either of us. Because of a few people coming up to me, saying he and his girlfriend have been talking trash behind my back for over a month, I decided to write this long entry and dish it all out. Truthfully, I am not afraid of this "scary" roommate. He really needs to grow up and start getting wise.

Monday, October 18, 2004

Blog Plug

It's a nifty photoblog at 35 Degrees!

How my birthday went..

This is what happened on my birthday last weekend. I stayed up Friday night, chatting and playing games with friends. I got home and finally went to bed like 5 in the morning on Saturday! Whew!! I caught up my rest, woke up about 3 pm. My sister picked me up at 4 pm and went to the Bombay House in Provo, Utah. I had chicken curry and garlic, roasted Indian (I forgot what it was called) bread. We went to the store to buy 4 pumpkins because my sister's in-laws were having a pumpkin carving night. We went to their house to carve the pumpkins. I carved one of 3 bat shadows inside of a moon. We all had my favorite cake: angel food with REAL whipped cream and strawberries. Of course, they sang that "Happy Birthday" song while my sister signed it. It was so nice of her!! After we finished the pumpkin carving, we went to Hee Haws in Pleasant Grove. My sister, her stepdaughter, her stepniece and I went to the Haunted Barnyard and Maize. We spent about over an hour waiting in line!!! After all is done, laughter given and the spooks spent, we went home. I got home around 12:30 AM. It was pretty good birthday this year! ;)

iMac Plug

I better get me a good RSS feed reader for the Mac from about.com's Mac RSS Feed Readers list!

Under the microscope

my friend: Libras, hmm hmm. I have devised a "typical Libra" profile due to my constant exposure to my libra friends... my friend: You spill the beans about EVERYTHING even though you were sworn to keep your lips (hands) sealed. Deaf 258: lol my friend: You think you are slightly (or whole lot) better than most of people Deaf 258: it depends on the level of severity of secret my friend: LOL my friend: Oy vey, you libras! my friend: ;-) Deaf 258: when I do spill the beans, I do it with style and tact Deaf 258: :-X my friend: ;-) Deaf 258: is that all? my friend: Hm my friend: You are loud as well-- (this only apply two libras) very extrovet with your emotions (especially ANGER) my friend: Short temper... ? my friend: Social butterfly as well. Care about others' opinions of you yet will sod off any bad opinions. my friend: That is all I can come up from my mind. Deaf 258: hah Deaf 258: you pretty much nailed it to a T my friend: haha Deaf 258: I dont have a short temper, but when I do have a temper, it is well within good reason my friend: Ah? my friend: so you say... ;-) heh

Wednesday, October 06, 2004